Uneasy Feelings
Felicity Pina

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I hate this feeling. I’m sitting at my desk-- it’s the week before finals. I’m studying for English, biopsychology, and child & adolescent psychology courses. There are papers scattered everywhere, and I begin to feel a sense of worry and apprehension. I feel like I’m overwhelmed with fear. I feel like I’m going crazy and losing control. I feel like I’m in grave danger-- danger from what though? I have an urgency to escape, and this isn’t even the worst feeling yet. Here comes the choking sensation: the tightening, the closing, and the clogging of my throat. Then comes the shortness of breath. My chest feels as heavy as lead. My heart is beating fast. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. My face feels hot and my hands are getting sweaty. The thoughts begin to race through my mind:

“I’m going to die.” 

“I will never finish my studying.”

“Why is it so hard to breathe?”

“What is wrong with me?”

“I feel so weak.”  

“I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“Please just make it stop.”

“Just breathe.”

“I feel as helpless as a baby.”   

“Just breathe.”

I close my eyes and remind myself it’ll be okay. Everything will be okay. I can overcome this. I just need to do my breathing exercise: 

Breathe in for four seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4

Hold my breath for seven seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4,5 ,6, 7

Exhale for eight seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

I’m okay. I’m okay.