Failing To Tread

by Hannah White

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Recovery for anything never stops 

 

I know this   -   I live this 

 

And as often as I congratulate my success 

I equally think about 

      (Almost longingly) 

The things that danced in my mind when it felt most sullied 

 

My illness is chronic. I know. 

And the desire to fall back  

Feels easier 

Than trying to tread this water 

This ocean of healing 

 

See I have a fear of drowning 

You could call that chronic too 

       Thinking the way I shouldn’t 

       Is floating 

       Weightless and easy  

Even though one wave could swallow me 

 

But where a wave is not my fault 

                                                  ~ Failing to tread is