Addict

by Jha'zhae Ponder

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It’s a vice that whispers dark secrets 

It’s a controlling wave of energy that overcomes you  

It’s a tug-of-war between the mind and body 

It’s an apprehension that trumps everything 

 

The constant revelations of utter less thoughts  

The force of nature that captures you in its webs  

The mind-altering foreboding of it 

The bondage that clings onto your soul 

I’m heavy under the weight of it 

I’m desperate for the opportunity to hold its hand  

I'm petrified of the side effects 

I’m most deserving of the consequences of my actions 

 

It keeps me grounded 

Yet, I’m drowning inside of it  

Will it kill me before I stop it? 

Will I perish, before I utter a sound? 

 

If I let it win, then I’m at the end of my blue-black road 

 

What if it already won the fracas? 

What if I’m decrepit to its vowels? 

Will God’s intervention be enough? 

I yearn to tame the fiend before the gasoline subdues me to purgatory